Friday, October 31, 2008

Getting adjusted to all things pink

So, I think I have gotten adjusted to the idea of having a daughter. Whenever anyone asked me what gender I wanted for this baby I always said that it didn't matter to me, I was just grateful to be pregnant and want one healthy baby as a result. And, honestly, that is what is most important. However, I also just assumed or felt that I would have another boy. It's taken about a week for the news to really sink in. My first reaction was one of fear. What do I know about raising a daughter? When I'm with my nieces and look at all their Barbie fairytopia/mermadia things I always thought how lucky I was to not have to deal with all pink/purple princess/fairy stuff. I'm not one of those women who want a daughter so that they have someone to shop with, or go to the salon with, because those aren't the sorts of things that I really enjoy doing. At the same time, I was never a tomboy so I fall somewhere in between - not one of the popular, pretty girls but not one of the sporty girls either. Perhaps this is partly where my anxiety comes from. I don't want my daughter to experience the same things I did growing up. I was never the smartest, never the prettiest, never really the best at anything (other than perhaps at being a smart alec). I hadn't feeling as though I needed to lose weight, or wear make-up or have a boyfriend, etc. in order to fit in. I know that boys experience social pressures as well but having never lived through those I just assume they must be easier than what girls go through. The husband has none of these concerns and his worries lie squarely with how he will handle a young teenager, who was just like him, coming to pick his daughter up for a date. Needless to say, I'm already hearing about how "no daughter of mine is dating until they are 30."

I had a second ultrasound yesterday. At my 20 week ultrasound the tech couldn't get a profile view of the baby and so my doctor wanted to try again. When I arrived for the scan the tech said that they would be trying to get a profile shot and then also re-checking the fetal weight. That was the first I was hearing about any weight check and questioned if the baby was measuring small, figuring that if I've lost 20 pounds thus far, perhaps my doctor just wanted to check and be certain that it wasn't effecting the baby. As it turns out, the baby is measuring big, but as of right now I still don't know what that means, or if it is even significant at all. I'm trying not to worry while I wait to hear from my doctor.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Honeycrisp Haiku

Crunch! Teeth breaking skin
Crisp, sweet, juicy honeycrisp
Only in the fall

Okay, so I was never much of a poet but I did just want to let everyone out there know of the wonders of the honeycrisp apple. If you've never had one, go get one! Now!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Political Confession

I am most likely NOT going to watch the presidential debate tonight. Instead, I will pick shows saved on my DVR and watch frivolous, meaningless television. Normally I love all things political but honestly, I think I'm burnt out on not just the presidential race, but all news. I read the newspaper every day and find that basically all it does is make me angry. Well, except for Miss Manners because her etiquette advice I always find to be so witty and charming. I aspire to be Miss Manners. But, back to news and politics, I'm tired of hearing promises from candidates that I know will never be kept, I'm tired of hearing one side bash the other when let's face it, they are all to blame for the mess our country is in, I'm tired of working hard and wondering if I'll be able to afford the baby I'm carrying much less ever have any more children since my taxes and just everyday expenses are so high. I'm tired of hearing how it's patriotic to pay taxes. Oh really? Ask the founding fathers that question. Clearly they didn't feel it patriotic to pay taxes given that the revolution was fought over the issue of taxes AND when this nation was founded there was no such thing as a federal income tax. Why we ever changed that I can't even begin to imagine. Also, if it's so darn patriotic to pay taxes then why do so many people in this country not only pay zero taxes but somehow, receive a tax "refund"? How can you get a refund for something you never even paid? It boggles my mind and makes my brain hurt. I'm getting a headache just writing this post and so I must stop. Tonight's viewing shall be an episode of Dexter and perhaps last night's House. Yes, that's what my world has come to, I would rather watch a show about a serial killer and a drug addicted doctor than watch the presidential candidates debate.

Friday, October 10, 2008


At my last ob/gyn appointment my doctor asked me if I was feeling the baby move yet. My answer was no, and wasn't it a little early for that given that last time I don't remember feeling movement that I was certain was the baby until after 20 weeks? He decided that it would make me feel better to tell me that most second time moms feel movement between 15 and 18 weeks. Oh great, way to make me panic wondering why I wasn't feeling anything yet. Well, for more than a week I've been feeling the little flutters that make you wonder is that the baby or is it just gas. Now I'm feeling that everyday, multiple times a day so I know it's baby. I LOVE feeling the little one squirming around in there. It is the thing I missed most after giving birth and it's something that I really want to cherish even more this time around since it is uncertain that I will ever be pregnant again.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Long time no write

Things seemed to get really busy really fast. First, we took our first official family vacation. We rented a cabin in Northern Wisconsin and spent a cold, rainy, chilly week wishing the weather would have been better. It was still fun though. QT really enjoyed hanging out on the dock and putting his fishing pole into the water. I figured I would be able to update upon our return but things have just gotten out of hand. First, I was getting pretty sick pretty often and that just took all the energy out of me. I finally gave in and called my doctor begging for some anti-nausea meds. He prescribed Zofran and so far I'm getting by on taking one pill in the morning. It seems to be helping although I'm still gaggy at times but that sure beats throwing up everything I eat. The Zofran came just at the right time as we had a birthday party for QT's second birthday. I can't believe my little boy is already two. Where does the time go?

There's no real big baby news. My "big" ultrasound is scheduled for the 21st so that is giving me something to look forward to. I've made zero progress on even making any decisions regarding moving QT to his big boy room. I keep saying that I don't want to decide anything until we find out if we're having another boy, but just between you and me, I have just been too lazy to make the decisions. My big accomplishment this past weekend was sorting through all of his summer clothes and boxing them up. Doing so made me think about what it would be like if we find out that we're having a girl. I've always said that it doesn't matter to me because really all I want is another baby. But, now I'm thinking that somewhere I've just always assumed that this baby would be another boy. I will still be thrilled either way, but feel as though I'll need some time to adjust my thoughts to all things girlie.

In possible future baby news I got some bad news yesterday. My current insurance provides for two IVF cycles. We were lucky enough to have our first try work and were planning on trying another cycle about six months after this baby is born. Well, yesterday I arrived home to a letter from wonderful, kind and caring United Healthcare saying that as of January 1, 2009, IVF will no longer be an offered benefit. I know it's silly for me to be sad about this but I am because it seriously reduces our chances of ever having more children, and they were pretty low chances to start with. Growing up I always envisioned myself having a bunch of kids, at least four, if not more. I love big family dinners and the thought of all my kids growing up together and returning home for holidays, etc. Two children are a blessing beyond belief so I shouldn't really be selfish but it is hard to give up your dream of how you thought your life would be.