Thursday, January 13, 2011

Time Keeps on Tickin'

Each day brings me one day closer to the time I lost Trey. I'm getting more and more nervous the further along I get (isn't it supposed to be the opposite?). Dr. Coulam keeps telling me that the baby is developing normally and I assume she thinks this should reassure me but Trey was developing normally as well so I don't take a ton of comfort in that. Oddly, this week, after another good ultrasound but super crappy blood work, she said again that the baby is developing normally but then ominously added "but I can't guarantee it will continue on that way." Gulp.

So yes, my natural killer cells are right back to being super elevated. I'm so frustrated. I don't understand why just when they start to go down and I get another infusion it seems to be reactivating them. Should I not even continue to do the intralipids since it only seems to be making things worse? Dr. Coulam suggested we see what the levels are like next week (so, the results from this week) and then proceed with a third intralipid infusion assuming the levels are still elevated. She said that even in her most difficult patients she never sees it take more than three infusions for the natural killer cells to get under control. I sure hope that she's right and that everything happens in time to allow the baby to continue to develop and you know, actually be born healthy.

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