Thursday, November 25, 2010

New Thanksgiving Tradition

Two years ago I was five months pregnant with QT on Thanksgiving. Last year I was two months pregnant with Trey on Thanksgiving, only to lose him a month later. This morning I am officially pregnant again with what I am praying will be our live, happy, healthy, take home baby. I am going to skip the traditional picture showing all the hpts I've taken, and there are many, just because I know how little it really means. Yes, they tell me that I am pregnant, but they don't guarantee that I'll actually have a baby.

I found out yesterday. The test yesterday morning was so faint I couldn't decide if it was a real line or an evap line. There really wasn't a pink color to it. So, I took a FRER with me to work and tested later in the afternoon. A very faint, but definitely pink line appeared. I was overjoyed, bordering on giddy. That lasted maybe a full minute before the worry set it. What if I lose this baby too? If I'm pregnant that means Dr. Sherbahn isn't going to prescribe IVF meds for me and come January 1st I will no longer have insurance coverage for them. Will the universe be so cruel as to have me lose the baby on January 1st? I need this pregnancy and this baby to be okay. I need to find some peace so that I'm not going completely insane in the coming minutes, hours, days, weeks and months.

I know I'm telling anyone who reads this the great news but I'm not certain when I'll actually come out to everyone. I guess I feel as though we shouldn't tell the family until we've had multiple good ultrasounds. There just doesn't seem to be a point to announcing another pregnancy only to lose it early on and have to endure the "it was for the best" comments or the "you should stop trying" comments. And yet, I am the sort of person who just loves to spread good news and this is good news.

Hopefully I'll be able to keep quiet for a few weeks and then the morning sickness will set in and I won't even have to tell anyone since they will all figure it out.

1 comment:

Lindsey said...

linz85 from the Bump here.

Congrats!! I pray you have a sticky baby, and happy and healthy, uneventful pregnancy!!! :)