After four weeks of waiting and wondering I finally got an answer, it just wasn't the answer I had wanted. The pathology report came back saying that I was carrying a healthy little girl. No chromosomal abnormalities at all. None. Which also means no reason why she died.
I really need there to be a reason why she died, and why Trey died. Searching for that reason is leading me to be tested for immune issues such as anti-thyroid antibodies and elevated levels of natural killer cells. I'm scared that the tests will back showing problems and that we may never have another child and at the same time I'm scared that the tests will come back normal and I'll be left with still zero explanation as to why my babies keep dying.
We have named our little girl Therese Barton. I want the next baby I name to be a live, healthy, cooing baby that I am holding in my arms.
1 comment:
Kelly--I am so sorry! I understand how much you need answers and I know this makes things even tougher.
I felt similar when we found out that our little girl had Down syndrome. I couldn't help but think that she COULD have lived and we would have given her a full and happy life, disability or not.
Know that I'm thinking about you and wishing you peace. I hope that the additional testing on you comes back with the results you are hoping for. Hang in there. Many prayers for sweet Therese.
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