Monday, August 4, 2008

Worry Wart

It's Monday and I'm already worrying about how this week will go. Two weeks ago there was the brown spotting to worry about. Last week brought the worry to an entirely new level with the onset of pink spotting and red bleeding and a mysterious leg infection. So, what will this week bring? I hope nothing but good things!

Here's just a bit of advice, if you are ever in need of emergency room care and are in the city of Milwaukee do not go to St. Joe's. Sure, it's a great hospital and is even called the baby hospital but that apparently doesn't mean that if you're pregnant and bleeding that they will actually do anything at all to check things out. And, just because you're going to some place called the emergency room don't expect them to treat your illness like a real emergency. At least in my world, emergencies don't take FIVE hours to diagnosis and treat.

The full story is as follows:

Tuesday I began experiencing pain behind my knee and on the inside of my right thigh. I have no recollection of hitting my leg on anything, being bit by any insects or in any other way, shape or form injuring it. I just stood up from my chair to walk somewhere and it hurt. The pain worsened to the point that fully extending my leg or bending my leg was nearly impossible. When I walked I had a slight limp. Normally I'm the sort of person who blows things like this off and figures that they will work themselves out in a few days so although it hurt I didn't do anything about it. Wednesday I noticed a red splotch where the pain was so I did call my doctor and he said not to worry unless the splotch got bigger, was hot to the touch and/or my leg turned blue. That night before bed I looked again and sure enough, big red splotch that was hot to the touch. I was planning on just calling the doctor back in the morning but then I had the shock of seeing real, red blood when I went to the bathroom. It wasn't brown and not even really pink, it was red and there was even a small clot. I was just stunned. I went and told the husband who, being a typical male, didn't really get it. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt that it was because he was already sleeping instead of thinking that he thought I went in the bathroom and discovered that oh, my arm was bleeding. The discovery of the blood made me call my doctor immediately. But, it would be too easy to just be able to call your doctor so instead it went like this, I called the nurse line, an operator called a nurse who called me back and then the nurse called the doctor and then called me back. An hour later I got the word that I should go to the ER and not so much for the bleeding but more so for the possibility of a blood clot in my leg. Oh joy.

I arrived at the emergency room at 11:10 p.m. and I left at 4:00 a.m. In between that time I sat around a lot. There were no magazines to read and I was instructed not to eat or drink anything. So, I just sat there, by myself, worried out of my mind. After over an hour I was moved into an exam room, after another half an hour I was visited by a nurse and then maybe another hour later finally I saw a doctor. Half an hour later I was taken to ultrasound so they could check not the baby but my leg. No blood clots were found and I was sent back to the little room and told to wait for the doctor to return. That seemed to take forever and when he did finally appear he had few answers. Maybe my leg was infected, maybe something had bit me, maybe this, maybe that, but they really don't know so they do what all doctors seem to do and handed me some antibiotics. They assured me that they are safe to take during pregnancy but that hasn't stopped me from worrying.

It was a relief to find out the leg issue is probably more of a nuisance than a real medical problem but I went home that night not knowing if everything was okay with the baby or night. The ER doc said that since I had just had an ultrasound done the week prior that he wasn't planning on checking anything and that I should just follow-up with my ob/gyn the next day. So easy for him to say. The next morning I didn't even have to call my ob because he actually called me and said that they would put me on the ultrasound schedule asap. It was a relief to see the little guy with his little beating heart. Both the ultrasound tech and the doctor could find no reason for the bleeding. My doctor just told me to stop doing so much (I didn't know that watching t.v. and putting my son to bed was doing too much) because if the bleeding didn't stop then he'd have to put me on bed rest. I was still worried but felt better when I left and I felt even better when I threw-up on Friday. I figure anything that makes this pregnancy more like the one with QT will make me feel more certain that everything is fine. The bleeding seems to have stopped but my morning sickness has also gotten a lot better. A normal person would just be thankful but oh no, not me, the lack of nauseousness and vomiting has led me right back into the bottomless pit of worry.

I am nine weeks today. When will I get to stop worrying? I know that mothers never get to stop worrying but when do I get to stop worrying specifically about this pregnancy? I don't even really mean stop worrying altogether, more just when can I have an hour or two of no worry? I've read that you can feel the baby sooner with a second pregnancy. I really hope that is true because feeling the little guy would really be a blessing.


Crystal said...

Hugs! We rented a doppler from some website when I was pg with K, and it made us feel SO much better. I lost the pg before her and was so paranoid, and we were able to find the h/b with the doppler around 10 weeks (although they say usually it's closer to 12w...and no, it's not because I'm so skinny, by any means!). Maybe that's something you can do to ease your mind?

my hope my faith my love said...

So glad you are OK! You worried me for a second.