Exploding ovaries

Oh my gosh, my ovaries feel like they are going to explode. I'm beginning to fear that the Clomid has caused giant cysts to form. But, this is the way I felt the first month that I took it so part of me thinks it's normal. It's kind of a fullness. But, even with the feeling of fullness I am managing to still eat just fine thank you very much. I guess stomach fullness and ovary fullness are two different things.

I saw Dr. Bear on Tuesday and he prescribed progesterone gel for me to use in the second half of my cycle. It should make them longer. He also said that using it can't hurt you and so he felt comfortable giving it to me. Then, I'm scheduled for the huge battery of tests in January. He also referred me to another specialist. I didn't really feel like I "clicked" with Dr. Hayes so now I have an appointment with Dr. Janik, although not until almost March because she has a very full schedule. The only issue with Dr. Janik is whether or not she'll be in the insurance plan that I choose. We have a new plan this year, United Healthcare, which actually covers infertility treatments and so I've been considering switching to that just in case we need more than just the Clomid. When I made the appointment her office told me that she was out of network for UHC but the UHC website says that she is new network. So, I called and UHC says that she is new network. Still, I'm worried that once a claim is submitted they will change their minds and say that she isn't a preferred provider. I hate insurance junk like this.

I also hate that I'm thinking all the treatment is inevitable. I used to not think far beyond the current cycle because I always had that hope that it would happen but now it seems as though I'm just going through the cycle figuring that it won't happen. That's depressing.

Depressing too is that this weekend, for the first time ever, I was saddened by someone else's pregnancy announcement. Thus far I've felt the normal happiness and excitement when hearing such wonderful news. First pregnancy announcements still make me feel this way, I think because since I have a child I want everyone to be able to experience the same thing that I have. Second pregnancies are a different story however and I've now made the decision that I no longer want anyone to get pregnant with a second, third, fourth, fifth.......well, you get the picture.